The Personal Side of Bias, Prejudice, and Oppression

Saturday, February 16, 2013

The Personal Side of Bias, Prejudice, and Oppression

Recently, I attended a meeting of early childhood professionals with a colleague I know but do not work with regularly. My colleague was the assigned lead on the project being discussed; however, many of the tasks had fallen to me to complete. I have been feeling the inequity in the situation, as I have over the past ten years often felt marginalized by this colleague in meetings. I am relating this experience because I have over the years just figured it was me, but another person at the meeting came to me and asked about the tension. Now, I can reflect on the interactions with the perspective that there truly is an imbalance of power in the relationship.

It was embarrassing to me to have others recognize that my colleague belittles my contributions. The judgment I feel makes me question my competence. I had a counter-balance in this meeting. First, I had prepared for the meeting and knew the information being discussed (my colleague had access to the same information, but did not think it relevant to learn) and, second, I had an ally in the meeting that has acknowledged my insights and passion as inspiring in other professional settings. Knowing you have an ally and having that person give you eye contact and a smile, provides encouragement and self-assurance.

As a mother of three daughters I often speak with them about using their power for good. I remind them in the morning on their way to school to stand up for someone being ridiculed, teased or treated unfairly. For doing nothing reinforces the dominant group’s belief that they deserve to oppress the target of their assaults and insults. I ask them to notice students that are pushed aside as not significant. Take the time to treat them as you would your friends, include them. It is not easy for teens to push social boundaries, but the more they recognize the power of their individual efforts on others the more courage they will have as adults to stand up for marginalized persons. I have shared my efforts to strengthen my daughters awareness of their power and how they can empower others. I heard a friend talking a few weeks ago about a conversation she had with her daughter....using her power for good. Little by little we can make a difference.

3 comments:

AnonymousFebruary 17, 2013 at 3:47 AM
Oh Wendy, how awful and annoying for you to have to deal with such a person. I wish you wisdom and patience in knowing how to deal with this person in a professional way and the form of marginalization that they impose on you. Sadly, there are many such people in the world who seem to take pleasure from such acts. I think that these people have their own issues that they are not dealing with and in making others feel less, it seems to give them a false sense of power and security.
I think your strategy with your daughters is a good one and I know deep down it will make a difference. I did something very similar with my daughters as they were growing up, it wasn't always easy for them, as it would sometimes cost them 'friendships' at the time they did not understand that those friendships were not worth keeping. Now when I hear them interacting with younger children in the community, I often hear them passing on the same advice. I believe that it is the small opportunities that can make a big difference in someone else's life. Thank you for sharing your story.
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HaleyFebruary 17, 2013 at 7:51 AM
Wendy,
I too share the same passion for teaching our children about thier power. I believe as children get older thier power and reactions to thier environment are a direct result from the environment we create for them as early childhood profressionals. I love that you remind your daughters of thier ability to change the dominant culture in which surrounds them. How do you handle when the dominant culture pushes back at them? My oldest daughter is a very talented musican she play 4 instruments and loves music. It is very much apart of her spirit. She is also a freashman on the varisity cheerleading team, and was forced tro choose in the fall whether to cheer or be apart of the band. We compromised and she promised to join concert band in the spring. On the first day of class she was made fun of and chasised in front of the class by the teacher for thinking she could just jump clubs whenever she felt like it. My daughter wanted to take a stand and show that talented musicians did not fit a sterotypre but the sterotype rejected her. I felt helpless to push forward, she dropped the concert band.
Haley
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MandyFebruary 17, 2013 at 12:55 PM
Hi Wendy,
As adults at times it can be difficult to recognize and stand up for individuals that are marginalized and oppressed due to our own insecurities, but it is a true sign of the strength of character one possess to do this anyways. I also try to instill this in my children as you mentioned. I think that starting early in life to teach this to children may be the key to creating a new generation empowered by equity and social justice.
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Personal Childhood Web

Joanie Peterson, my mother, was very engaged in my life from birth. I was the oldest and the only child until I was five. I was loved,my mother spent time with me by including me in whatever activities needed to be done. I remember the old tile floor in the kitchen that had to be waxed regularly. When the wax dried, my mother would give me an old towel to stand on and she would put on music and we would dance the twist until the tiles were buffed. My mother was finishing her bachelor degree in psychology and English during my first three years. I had the opportunity to meet lots of people in a community of shared values. I had time to play uninterrupted and my play was very creative and complex, with hours outside. I was read to and the value of learning was instilled in me early, but not in a competitive way, to be recognized as the best, but in a very personal way. Was I giving the task or the skill my best effort? Her approach to parenting developed intrinsic motivation in me. I am a great team player, motivated and satisfied to make sure the team does well. The measure of achievement is the level to which I tried my best. I can take a risk to take on a new challenge, because I know my mother will always love me. I value personal responsibility.

Rev. Merton Peterson, my father, was finishing seminary and pastoring his first church when I was born. I remember sitting on his lap, watching him type, helping fold bulletins, turning the handle on the old mimeograph machine, and going on home visits with him, when he needed to visit families from the church. We did not have material wealth, but I never felt poor We had enough that we could share. My did believed in me, when there was something I needed to do or learn he always spoke as though I had already mastered the task. I believe he spoke with confidence, because he has prayed for me every day of my life. Being a pastor's child means you learn manners, expectations and hospitality very early. We had lots of company. I loved giving up my bedroom and sleeping in a sleeping bag so the missionaries could have my room when they visited. I would listen to stories of their experiences in different countries and how they would help build homes and schools and grow crops wile they shared that Jesus loved them. I share my family's faith in God and the value that people are more important than things.

My extended family did not live close to me as I was growing up. But my grandmothers and aunt were prolific letter writers. We visited family every holiday, making holidays feel very special. I would listen to the adults share stories about family and friends. I knew that family were there for each other. My great-great grandparents were homesteaders. There was a strong sense of work ethic practiced. There were ranchers and there were farmers. It takes commitment and self determination to make it work. The entire family has to help to get the cattle in or harvest the crops. I remember the first time I was allowed to go on a cattle drive. I was probably seven. The strong connection to aunts, uncles and cousins as we spent the day on horseback gathering the cattle that were scattered among the trees and meadows in the foothills was exhilarating—I belonged, I was given worthwhile work. The farming family was an even stronger influence on my work ethic. When we visited the farm there was always tasks I could participate in: picking fruits and vegetables to can or freeze for my families use and when I got older picking melons or driving a tractor. It was part of being a member of my family. My family values hard work and integrity.

The church community provided a foundation of belonging and strength in conviction. Looking back I can appreciate that those families made sacrifices to make I had what I needed. The children were my friends, we could discuss the roles we were in and decisions we faced from a shared set of values. I never felt alone. As a community we looked out for each other. The community demonstrated living the values they held.

School Environment, Most people cannot imagine going to a school that houses children from kindergarten through senior high in the same building. Still the school community had enough diversity of values that it was a great place to have my values challenged and for me to exercise the decisions to stand true to my values. With only thirteen in my graduate class, but still the roles and functions of any school, there was so much opportunity to try out many different tasks. There were sports, student council officers, music, drama and clubs. I tried it all, because in a school that small everyone needs to get involved to have enough participants. My work ethic and integrity rewarded me with responsibility and opportunities. The most unusual was a flight class to learn to be a pilot, which included flight hours in a small plane. In the state I was raised, schools were the hub of activity for rural communities. Everyone came to all the events. People valued being together.

Wendy Newby - Have I asked the right question?

Saturday, February 16, 2013