Leading with Lollipops a Communication lesson learned

I love this story and the reminder that even conversations or comments we feel are insignificant can make a big difference in the lives of others.  Just as in leadership we don't have to become larger than life or communicate to huge numbers of people to be effective.  I would like to become adept at using stories of my experience in effective way to illustrate or demonstrate evidence learning and research.  Since the beginning of the Masters in Early Childhood Studies I have been intrigued with Bakhtin's theories.  Smidt (2006) explains, "each individual has a unique point of view. But we live in a world of others ....these others become the central figures--in the stories we make to explain our lives" (p. 70).  I am fascinated by the idea of communicating through the stories of our lives and incorporating others' stories into our understanding of the world.

Reference

Smidt, S. (2006) The developing child in the 21st century: A global perspective on child development. New York, NY:  Routledge

Professional Hopes and Goals

Hope…..…that each family entering the classrooms I supervise experiences hospitality, respect and the encouragement to share the strengths, aspirations and culture of their diverse backgrounds

Goal…..

       …that early childhood professionals would have the courage to question internalized privilege, promote the voices of marginalized groups, and persist in moments of conflict that create positive change in social justice.

Thanks…..

       …I want to thank my colleagues for their willingness to share their diverse perspectives, providing for balance, increasing my understanding and challenging my assumptions.

 “True hospitality is marked by an open response to the dignity of each and every person. Henri Nouwen has described it as receiving the stranger on his own terms, and asserts that it can be offered only by those who 'have found the center of their lives in their own hearts'.” ― Kathleen Norris, Dakota: A Spiritual Geography

I am thankful that the reflection required in our course has brought me closer to my own center.

Welcoming Families From Around the World

A scenario to demonstrate strategies and classroom practices that welcome diversity:

         A new family is enrolling in the Early Learning Center. They have recently moved from Brazil to live in our community.  The family moved because the father works for an international company that needs his expertise in the Brazilian business culture to have successful work connections in the United States.  The company has contacted the center about the enrollment of the preschool child.  To prepare to greet the family and welcome the child to our program, we first, review the books, dolls, posters and music for integration of a variety of cultures.  Next we take advantage of the public library and check out a c.d. with survival words and phrases in the official language of Brazil, Portuguese. To get the children ready, the teachers are asking them to think about ways they could help a new student that may not understand the words others are saying.  The children decide to make picture signs to post around the room that shows what happens in each area. 

         When the family comes for their first visit to our center, we learn that they are Japanese Brazilians, from Sao Paulo, a very large and rich city in southern Brazil that is very diverse with industry from many global companies, with a significant Japanese community.  The company provided an interpreter to help us discuss the family’s expectation for childcare and their goals for their child. It was good to have the opportunity to share authentic information and learn the unique culture of the family.  We learned that many of the same opportunities of activities were available in their city as in our city.  The parents said they could bring pictures of family activities for their child to share with the other children on their next visit.  As a teaching team, they decided to invite all the children to bring pictures of a family activity or a story about a favorite family experience to share.  The children and staff learned they had many of the same types of family experiences but also that other families may do things very differently.  The teachers made note of the activities the children were most curious about and brought materials into the dramatic play area so the children could role play the ideas they were trying to understand.  The teachers and parents planned to talk daily the first few weeks to discuss adjustments as challenges became apparent through interactions. 

            The efforts to welcome a new family we knew would need additional support not only benefited the new family, but brought excitement into the classroom about how each family is unique.  The teachers established strategies that engaged all the children in sharing the diversity of their family culture and also in recognizing characteristics that were similar.  The children and teachers made new connections in their social identities increasing the sense of belonging and reducing their fear of differences.

The Personal Side of Bias, Prejudice, and Oppression

Recently, I attended a meeting of early childhood professionals with a colleague I know but do not work with regularly. My colleague was the assigned lead on the project being discussed; however, many of the tasks had fallen to me to complete.  I have been feeling the inequity in the situation, as I have over the past ten years often felt marginalized by this colleague in meetings.  I am relating this experience because I have over the years just figured it was me, but another person at the meeting came to me and asked about the tension.  Now, I can reflect on the interactions with the perspective that there truly is an imbalance of power in the relationship.

          It was embarrassing to me to have others recognize that my colleague belittles my contributions.  The judgment I feel makes me question my competence.  I had a counter-balance in this meeting.  First, I had prepared for the meeting and knew the information being discussed (my colleague had access to the same information, but did not think it relevant to learn) and, second, I had an ally in the meeting that has acknowledged my insights and passion as inspiring in other professional settings.  Knowing you have an ally and having that person give you eye contact and a smile, provides encouragement and self-assurance. 

          As a mother of three daughters I often speak with them about using their power for good.  I remind them in the morning on their way to school to stand up for someone being ridiculed, teased or treated unfairly.  For doing nothing reinforces the dominant group’s belief that they deserve to oppress the target of their assaults and insults.  I ask them to notice students that are pushed aside as not significant.  Take the time to treat them as you would your friends, include them.  It is not easy for teens to push social boundaries, but the more they recognize the power of their individual efforts on others the more courage they will have as adults to stand up for marginalized persons.  I have shared my efforts to strengthen my daughters awareness of their power and how they can empower others.  I heard a friend talking a few weeks ago about a conversation she had with her daughter....using her power for good.  Little by little we can make a difference.

Practicing Awareness of Microaggressions

My colleague is returning to work after maternity leave. She came in with her new baby to visit and discuss the details of her return. A college employee caught a glimpse of my colleague and the baby and stopped to say hello.  He said, “Is this baby number three?” She replied, “I have five children.”  He responded, “Wow! That is a lot of work.  I knew I had seen you pregnant at least three times. Let’s see, I started working here in ….. well, cute baby.”  My colleague replied, “Well this is definitely the last.”  He left the office.  My colleague sighed, “I get so tired of people assuming that being a mother of five children is awful.  I love being a mother and my children bring me such joy.  People, in the grocery store, look at me like I am crazy.  But I can take my children anywhere; they are great kids.” She went on to say she feels she has to give excuses for having more than two children and is so tired of the looks or comments from people that send the message, “Weren’t you pregnant last year?” The man’s comments were a micro-invalidation, that undermined my colleague’s real experience of being a mother.  As we talked, I shared how much I have learned from her telling about her experiences and expertise. Reflecting on the event, I wished I could protect her from comments that devalue the role of mother she has chosen with enthusiasm and dedication.  The man was friendly and warm in his demeanor, reinforcing the unconscious nature of his hidden message, that her family is not his idea of a desirable situation.  It has increased my awareness of the psychological energy is requires to defend against a barrage of indignities.

            Louise Derman-Sparks and Edwards (2010) confirms that “children growing up in families whose ways of life differ from dominant culture are more likely to feel devalued and excluded” (p.58).  To guard against such discrimination Janet Gonzalez-Mena (2008) believes “that groups and individuals should be allowed, encouraged to hold on to what gives them their unique identities while maintaining their membership in the larger social framework” (p. 13). Dr. Derald Wing Sue (2011) challenges us to socialize and make intimate contact with people unlike ourselves to promote the accurate exchange of information rather than stereotypes (Laureate Education, Inc., 2011).

References

Derman-Sparks, L., & Edwards, J. O. (2010). Anti-bias education for young children and ourselves. Washington, DC: National Association for the Education of Young Children (NAEYC). 

Gonzalez-Mena, J. (2008). Diversity in early care and education (5^th ed.). Boston, MA:  McGraw Hill.

Laureate Education, Inc. (Producer). (2011). Microaggressions in everyday life. [Web video]. Baltimore, MD

Perspectives on Diversity and Culture

Perspectives on Diversity and Culture

Friend 1:

            I grew up under the care and nurturing of my grandmother.  As the oldest of seven siblings with different fathers, I felt most secure and stable in my grandmother’s home.  My grandmother instilled values of education, commitment to family, and hard work.  Culture, for me, is the shared values and traditions that have influenced my choices and the people and things that I value.  Something interesting about diversity that you may not understand is the intra group comparison that occurs based on the depth of skin color.  Among my siblings we ranked each other by who had the lightest complexion. Diversity is more than the color of our skin, but as an African American woman it is the characteristic that connects me or causes tension most often.  I made sure that when I named my children that their names were spelled and pronounced so they would not be disadvantaged before they had an equal chance to prove themselves. (J. Banks, personal communication, January 24, 2013)

Coworker 2

            As the oldest of three children, I have chosen to honor the traditional culture of the Chinese and care for my parents in my home.  Although it feels more like they are caring for me.  As a first generation immigrant to the United States people often ask is I am an only child, but the one child rule came into effect after my brother was born. Culture in China is changing; however, when I went back to Beijing to visit it was hard to return.  Everything was so familiar.  As I have learned more English it has become more comfortable to be in the United States.  Knowing, understanding and speaking the language make diversity differences easier to deal with.  I love a challenge and being well educated has helped me be successful in the American culture.  Because I was successful in business in China, I am influential as the principal of the Chinese weekend school of 800 students.  The parents of the students desire that their children preserve the family language and culture, while also attending United State schools.  My husband and I have chosen not to have children; it would be easier to raise a child in a familiar cultural environment.  (L. Zhou, personal communication, January 22, 2013)

           

Friend 3

            Culture for me is the way of life that I experienced as I was growing up, but now modified to reflect my personal values and experiences.  Family members and friends often ask why I don’t choose to go out and spend more time with adult friends.  I truly love being home with my children.  I don’t feel like I am missing out.  I love my role as a mother and having five children is wonderful not horrible.  It makes me realize that even within a close group of friends and family that personal culture can make a significant difference in the way we choose to live our lives.  As the partner of a deployed military member, I relate to emotions, challenges and benefits that any spouse feels during overseas deployment.  But of course, the long term effects of don’t ask-don’t tell on individual’s attitudes makes connecting to the traditional military support groups uncomfortable.  I have developed many friendships with people that value me for who I am and feel supported by them.  When it comes to diversity, I have to be true to what feels right to me, and not on what other people think about me.  (N. Baker, personal communication, January 23, 2013).

            I recognize that it is easier for people to talk about the characteristics of their own social identity than to define culture and diversity.  In addition, what they contemplated most often are the elements that have created discontinuity as opposed to the ways of being that identify them with a social group.  For my coworker that is a first generation immigrant, her political affiliation as a Chinese citizen and her first language, Mandarin Chinese, are characteristics significant to her social identification and definitions of culture and diversity.  My friends shared culture and diversity definitions that focused on surface culture, but reflected individualized ways of being.  Derman-Sparks & Edwards (2010) emphasized two dimensions of culture that were also included in the conversations I had with friends and coworkers. First, they shared their personal positive cultural identity and secondly, the environments that provided comfortable and respectful interactions with others. While reflecting on the conversations I realized that the aspects of culture and diversity that would demonstrate our connection were not specifically mentioned.  They are deep culture characteristics: What are the standards of work ethic? What are healthy foods?  How do we discipline children? What is appropriate work attire?  I think that these are ideas we share.  Derman-Sparks & Edwards report, “We only notice when something changes or makes us uncomfortable” (p. 55). We are friends or coworkers because of shared experiences and the openness to learn from the other's understanding of the world.

Reference

Derman-Sparks, L. & Edwards, J. O. (2010). Anti-bias education for young children and ourselves.  Washington, DC: National Association for the Education of Young Children (NAEYC).

My Family Culture

Upon notification of emergency evacuation to a foreign destination I would pack my i-pad.  It contains information and reminders that would keep me connected to who I am.  In it there is a copy of the Bible, pictures of family and friends, and the names and addresses of people important to me.   The i-pad itself is not important, but the connection to family is what keeps me emotionally grounded.  Secondly, my family’s values are based on the teachings in the Bible, making the Bible an important choice to reinforce my beliefs.  Reading is such a gift, so the Bible can serve multiple roles in explaining to others what is important to me.  We often read to each other in our house, so having a book to read and share would provide a continued sense of security.  If I were to be restricted to one item I would take the Bible, and write as many names and contacts in it that I could remember.  There are really no “things” I can’t do without or imagine replacing, except for the people that I love.