Wendy Newby - Have I asked the right question?: January 2013

Saturday, January 26, 2013

Perspectives on Diversity and Culture

Friend 1:

I grew up under the care and nurturing of my grandmother. As the oldest of seven siblings with different fathers, I felt most secure and stable in my grandmother’s home. My grandmother instilled values of education, commitment to family, and hard work. Culture, for me, is the shared values and traditions that have influenced my choices and the people and things that I value. Something interesting about diversity that you may not understand is the intra group comparison that occurs based on the depth of skin color. Among my siblings we ranked each other by who had the lightest complexion. Diversity is more than the color of our skin, but as an African American woman it is the characteristic that connects me or causes tension most often. I made sure that when I named my children that their names were spelled and pronounced so they would not be disadvantaged before they had an equal chance to prove themselves. (J. Banks, personal communication, January 24, 2013)

Coworker 2

As the oldest of three children, I have chosen to honor the traditional culture of the Chinese and care for my parents in my home. Although it feels more like they are caring for me. As a first generation immigrant to the United States people often ask is I am an only child, but the one child rule came into effect after my brother was born. Culture in China is changing; however, when I went back to Beijing to visit it was hard to return. Everything was so familiar. As I have learned more English it has become more comfortable to be in the United States. Knowing, understanding and speaking the language make diversity differences easier to deal with. I love a challenge and being well educated has helped me be successful in the American culture. Because I was successful in business in China, I am influential as the principal of the Chinese weekend school of 800 students. The parents of the students desire that their children preserve the family language and culture, while also attending United State schools. My husband and I have chosen not to have children; it would be easier to raise a child in a familiar cultural environment. (L. Zhou, personal communication, January 22, 2013)

Friend 3

Culture for me is the way of life that I experienced as I was growing up, but now modified to reflect my personal values and experiences. Family members and friends often ask why I don’t choose to go out and spend more time with adult friends. I truly love being home with my children. I don’t feel like I am missing out. I love my role as a mother and having five children is wonderful not horrible. It makes me realize that even within a close group of friends and family that personal culture can make a significant difference in the way we choose to live our lives. As the partner of a deployed military member, I relate to emotions, challenges and benefits that any spouse feels during overseas deployment. But of course, the long term effects of don’t ask-don’t tell on individual’s attitudes makes connecting to the traditional military support groups uncomfortable. I have developed many friendships with people that value me for who I am and feel supported by them. When it comes to diversity, I have to be true to what feels right to me, and not on what other people think about me. (N. Baker, personal communication, January 23, 2013).

I recognize that it is easier for people to talk about the characteristics of their own social identity than to define culture and diversity. In addition, what they contemplated most often are the elements that have created discontinuity as opposed to the ways of being that identify them with a social group. For my coworker that is a first generation immigrant, her political affiliation as a Chinese citizen and her first language, Mandarin Chinese, are characteristics significant to her social identification and definitions of culture and diversity. My friends shared culture and diversity definitions that focused on surface culture, but reflected individualized ways of being. Derman-Sparks & Edwards (2010) emphasized two dimensions of culture that were also included in the conversations I had with friends and coworkers. First, they shared their personal positive cultural identity and secondly, the environments that provided comfortable and respectful interactions with others. While reflecting on the conversations I realized that the aspects of culture and diversity that would demonstrate our connection were not specifically mentioned. They are deep culture characteristics: What are the standards of work ethic? What are healthy foods? How do we discipline children? What is appropriate work attire? I think that these are ideas we share. Derman-Sparks & Edwards report, “We only notice when something changes or makes us uncomfortable” (p. 55). We are friends or coworkers because of shared experiences and the openness to learn from the other's understanding of the world.

Reference

Derman-Sparks, L. & Edwards, J. O. (2010). Anti-bias education for young children and ourselves. Washington, DC: National Association for the Education of Young Children (NAEYC).

Saturday, January 19, 2013

My Family Culture

Upon notification of emergency evacuation to a foreign destination I would pack my i-pad. It contains information and reminders that would keep me connected to who I am. In it there is a copy of the Bible, pictures of family and friends, and the names and addresses of people important to me. The i-pad itself is not important, but the connection to family is what keeps me emotionally grounded. Secondly, my family’s values are based on the teachings in the Bible, making the Bible an important choice to reinforce my beliefs. Reading is such a gift, so the Bible can serve multiple roles in explaining to others what is important to me. We often read to each other in our house, so having a book to read and share would provide a continued sense of security. If I were to be restricted to one item I would take the Bible, and write as many names and contacts in it that I could remember. There are really no “things” I can’t do without or imagine replacing, except for the people that I love.

Personal Childhood Web

Joanie Peterson, my mother, was very engaged in my life from birth. I was the oldest and the only child until I was five. I was loved,my mother spent time with me by including me in whatever activities needed to be done. I remember the old tile floor in the kitchen that had to be waxed regularly. When the wax dried, my mother would give me an old towel to stand on and she would put on music and we would dance the twist until the tiles were buffed. My mother was finishing her bachelor degree in psychology and English during my first three years. I had the opportunity to meet lots of people in a community of shared values. I had time to play uninterrupted and my play was very creative and complex, with hours outside. I was read to and the value of learning was instilled in me early, but not in a competitive way, to be recognized as the best, but in a very personal way. Was I giving the task or the skill my best effort? Her approach to parenting developed intrinsic motivation in me. I am a great team player, motivated and satisfied to make sure the team does well. The measure of achievement is the level to which I tried my best. I can take a risk to take on a new challenge, because I know my mother will always love me. I value personal responsibility.

Rev. Merton Peterson, my father, was finishing seminary and pastoring his first church when I was born. I remember sitting on his lap, watching him type, helping fold bulletins, turning the handle on the old mimeograph machine, and going on home visits with him, when he needed to visit families from the church. We did not have material wealth, but I never felt poor We had enough that we could share. My did believed in me, when there was something I needed to do or learn he always spoke as though I had already mastered the task. I believe he spoke with confidence, because he has prayed for me every day of my life. Being a pastor's child means you learn manners, expectations and hospitality very early. We had lots of company. I loved giving up my bedroom and sleeping in a sleeping bag so the missionaries could have my room when they visited. I would listen to stories of their experiences in different countries and how they would help build homes and schools and grow crops wile they shared that Jesus loved them. I share my family's faith in God and the value that people are more important than things.

My extended family did not live close to me as I was growing up. But my grandmothers and aunt were prolific letter writers. We visited family every holiday, making holidays feel very special. I would listen to the adults share stories about family and friends. I knew that family were there for each other. My great-great grandparents were homesteaders. There was a strong sense of work ethic practiced. There were ranchers and there were farmers. It takes commitment and self determination to make it work. The entire family has to help to get the cattle in or harvest the crops. I remember the first time I was allowed to go on a cattle drive. I was probably seven. The strong connection to aunts, uncles and cousins as we spent the day on horseback gathering the cattle that were scattered among the trees and meadows in the foothills was exhilarating—I belonged, I was given worthwhile work. The farming family was an even stronger influence on my work ethic. When we visited the farm there was always tasks I could participate in: picking fruits and vegetables to can or freeze for my families use and when I got older picking melons or driving a tractor. It was part of being a member of my family. My family values hard work and integrity.

The church community provided a foundation of belonging and strength in conviction. Looking back I can appreciate that those families made sacrifices to make I had what I needed. The children were my friends, we could discuss the roles we were in and decisions we faced from a shared set of values. I never felt alone. As a community we looked out for each other. The community demonstrated living the values they held.

School Environment, Most people cannot imagine going to a school that houses children from kindergarten through senior high in the same building. Still the school community had enough diversity of values that it was a great place to have my values challenged and for me to exercise the decisions to stand true to my values. With only thirteen in my graduate class, but still the roles and functions of any school, there was so much opportunity to try out many different tasks. There were sports, student council officers, music, drama and clubs. I tried it all, because in a school that small everyone needs to get involved to have enough participants. My work ethic and integrity rewarded me with responsibility and opportunities. The most unusual was a flight class to learn to be a pilot, which included flight hours in a small plane. In the state I was raised, schools were the hub of activity for rural communities. Everyone came to all the events. People valued being together.